blargh.

Well, what can I really say? My significant other has officially moved out, though we have not split up, and I was actually feeling pretty good about it for a couple of days until we went to a wedding reception together tonight. What an absolutely stupid idea. What the hell was I thinking?

Needless to say, I got all mopey and depressed and, actually, downright mad. I get cranky when things don't go my way. This whole situation is a serious lesson in letting go of my need to control things, because there's really no controlling the disintegration of a relationship and the ensuing chaos. I don't know if we have any hope. I don't know if we have any chances left. And now I'm feeling crappy about it.

To be honest, the last couple of days have been nice - they're peaceful, calm, and quiet. There's no arguing, no let downs, no going-to-bed-crying. I play with the dog, work on my projects, and clean the house. Last night I even went to a party on my own, which was mostly fun. I'm always that geek standing alone until I've had enough booze to get social with strangers.

The mere thought of work exhausts me. I don't know why. I feel like I just want a week off to sleep in every morning, lounge around the house, go for hikes, work on my nature blog, craft, and feel. If I could afford my bills for two months, I think I'd pack up and go home for a while to spend time with my mom.

At any rate, it's late and I need to get to sleep. Boo. Weekends are way too short.