loose ends.

I've removed my blog from Facebook because things are about to get a little personal. I'm dealing with a lot of shit right now. I'm fine, but there's a lot of inner turmoil that is surfacing in the physical realm. 

My significant other of four years and I are potentially facing a split. I'm devastated and exhausted, but also out of options. If you're reading this and your friends with both of us, I ask that you do not speak to her about what you read here. I also want you to feel no discomfort about the situation, and certainly don't think you've got to choose sides.

My second chakra is completely out of whack. I threw out my back a couple weeks ago, and on Thursday, I spent 4 hours in urgent care to discover that I have an ovarian cyst almost as large as my ovary. Apparently cysts are common and they resolve themselves more often then not, but it's still a little scary. Mine is large and painful, and if it doesn't resolve, surgery may be in the future. There's also the potential that while I'm just going about my day, it's going to "burst" (gag), causing immense pain and panic. These two physical ailments are coming about because I haven't dealt with issues in the emotional realm yet, but I'm working on that.

The ultrasound I had to diagnose the burning pain in my belly cost $600. I'll be billed monthly with no interest, so that's great, the only frustrating part is that I'm already in a shitload of debt. Between credit cards, school and personal loans, and now this medical bill, it's going to be an uphill battle for a little while. I know I can do it, I just need to buckle down and not let it get me depressed. 

Also, for whatever reason, my boss has been really unpleasant with me at work lately. I have no idea why, so Thursday I dropped him a note to see what's going on and if it's me or not. We'll see what he's replied today. He's not the kind of person that talks about emotions, so the fact that I'm responding emotionally to his attitude doesn't set things up for a positive spin, but hopefully it will turn out. 

So, as you can see, I'm just fucking exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. On the bright side, my potatoes are coming along nicely, I have some Americorps money to use on my loans if I can get Americorps to get its shit together, and I have the greatest friend and mom in the entire world to see me through this.